Gabbing with Grunt: graduation means leaving neverland

neverlandFor approximately 16 years I’ve been attending school. I’ve survived monkey-bars, drivers-ed, and college-level math. I beat the odds against the “freshman-fifteen,” and even had the honor of becoming the editor-in-chief of a newspaper.

All in all, school has been good.

So when it’s time for it all to end — at least for now, I just may further my degree someday — will it feel any different than graduating from high school? Am I going to wake up the first day after finals and feel like the adulting has officially begun?

I can think of at least 10 reasons off the top of my head as to why I’m not yet qualified for the “adult” position:  

  1. I am the WORST at remembering to do the dishes. Or putting my clothes away after they’re washed. Or taking out the garbage when it’s full. Or cleaning….vacuuming I’m a total champ at, but the rest just sucks. Pun intended.
  2. I hop aboard the struggle bus every time I have to open the lid to a pickle jar.
  3. I cannot “flic the bic” on a lighter, and I tend to break a match in half whenever I try to strike it. I would not survive in the wild. Not even if I had a matchbook.
  4. I’m not ready to stop wearing my fuzzy Cousin Eddie winter hat around Christmas time. Either the other adults comply, or I refuse to join their club.
  5. I enjoy staying up into the late hours of the night watching Netflix; my classes are all basically in the afternoon, so it has yet to become an issue. But it will be. Someday.
  6. I haven’t begun to “officially” save for retirement. I have so little money now…
  7. I never remember to carry an umbrella, even though there’s one in my car. I know it’s there, I’ve seen it.
  8. Sometimes I have a hard time pouring the water out of the macaroni when I’m cooking. There always seems to be a stray noodle that pops out, lands in the sink, and mocks me.
  9. I don’t take a vitamin, and I’ve heard that’s a thing “responsible” people tend to do.
  10. I always feel like chickening out last minute when it comes to calling to make appointments for things; I don’t mind being on the phone with people, I just would love it if my mom did it…

Not to say I won’t figure it all out as I go along — if our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents have figured it out, so can we.

There are hundreds of us graduating on May 19th; completing our time at Black Hawk College is just the next step.

I wish all of my readers the best of luck — it’s been absolutely fantastic being able to have a column where I can openly discuss things that I have found other people have similar distress in. For two semesters, I’ve been fortunate to interact with students at BHC who were excited to be quoted in the newspaper; they didn’t run away from the blonde girl running around from student to student, brave souls. Some students even signed up at the Promotional Fair to receive emails from me about the newest column idea; I couldn’t thank you guys enough.

If you were ever interested in journalistic writing, I have to say that there is almost nothing more rewarding than seeing your work printed in the newspaper.

I also know that if you are graduating this month and you still haven’t got a clue what you want to do for a career, you’re not alone. When I find the right niche for me, it’s going to be just like how Prince Eric expects he’ll realize he’s found the right girl. It’ll just hit me, “bam, like lightning.”

Don’t be afraid to grow up, even if you feel at times that you will never be ready. All that matters is that you’re happy; I’ll be staying up to unreasonable hours in the evening, and you do what you enjoy.

Peace out.

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