The Emoji Movie: Sell-Out of The Century

 

SPOILER WARNING

That’s right. It really happened. Sony pictures made an animated movie about emojis. If you’ve been scrounging the internet in search of saucy reviews, odds are you know by now that The Emoji Movie is bad. Really bad. In fact, so bad that it’s one of the lowest rated movies on sites like IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes, despite its 50-some million-dollar budget. I mean, for crying out loud, it’s a movie about emojis. How good can it be? Despite the negative criticism, the movie actually made a decent profit. It’s hard to believe that a movie about emojis could manage to round up hundreds of millions of dollars, but it did. After watching the movie myself, I can honestly say that it deserves the ⅕ stars, 2/10 stars, and measly 5% and 12%’s it’s been getting from critics around the world. Let’s take a minute to analyze the awfulness that is The Emoji Movie, as well as its undeniable success. Continue reading “The Emoji Movie: Sell-Out of The Century”

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please let your babies grow up to be cowboys

the ranch

If you’ve been browsing on Netflix lately, chances are you’ve seen a show that incorporates top-grade country music, an iconic mustache, and an unfortunate pair of Ugg boots.

The Ranch is a sitcom unlike anything else Netflix has produced to date; filmed with only a handful of different sets in the studio, its essence is a throwback to other classics like Cheers or Full House.

Ten episodes of the first season were released on April 1st of this year; with each show only being half an hour long, a binge-watcher could do some serious damage in just one day.

Everyone in my household actually came together to watch history unfold: Danny Masterson and Ashton Kutcher, the infamous Steven Hyde and Michael Kelso, teamed up again as the Bennett brothers.

Colt Bennett, played by Kutcher, is the hometown football hero, who has arrived home with his tail between his legs after falling short on his dream of becoming a big-time professional football player.

Jameson ‘Rooster’ Bennett, played by Masterson, has continued to help out his daddy on the ranch for the last 15 years while Colt has been away. With a lot of the same quirks and mannerisms as his character “Hyde” from That 70s Show, this beer-guzzling redneck has the best “horse walks into a bar” jokes on television.

Sam Elliott portrays their father, Beau Bennett, who’s the living definition of a stubborn old ox. Thankfully his voice is enough to cause any woman to swoon to the floor in a puddle of mush — my mother included.

While the story unfolds, we see the screenwriters taking full advantage of the fact that the show is not on cable; there are multiple instances where characters drop the F-bomb, or some other forgivable four lettered words. You will also see a hiney — I’m not gonna say who’s — but the ladies will not be disappointed.

And if you’re a George Jones fan, there’s a scene that is pure GOLD.

Some of the haters/critics alike argue that the show is nothing that we haven’t seen before. Colt is just another son who is seeking the approval of his father. Beau is just another cranky, hard-headed old man who can’t even stand the fact that there is almond milk in his fridge: “What the *bleep* is almond milk…show me the tit on an almond.”

However, the show’s charm emulates a family many viewers either relate to, or enjoy learning more about. It takes a character that would otherwise be made into a cliche and manages to poke fun at it in a loving-family way.

The Bennett men win the medal for quick-wit sarcasm and stubbornness; without a doubt, Colt and Rooster have learned from the best. Sam Elliot’s lines in this show are a mix between the ideals of your grandfather and the comedic wisdom of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.

Just some examples include: “What kind of *bleep* spends 85 dollars on a pair of jeans?”, “Sushi is fish for men who don’t know how to build a fire”, and “A man doesn’t grow a mustache, the mustache grows the man.”

Many of Beau’s ideals may seem old fashioned, but there’s enough modern-day turmoil occurring between his marriage and the state of the ranch for the character to be relatable to the generations after him as well.

The Ranch is one of those shows that can perk you up regardless of the mood you’re in. My family would sit down and watch it at the end of the day for the same reason we’d turn on Jimmy Fallon after the news — it makes you smile.

More episodes are set to debut later this year, but the release date is still pending. Hopefully they air sooner rather than later; I miss seeing me some Rooster!

Don’t trust him, Adaline!

Harrison Ford, Anthony Ingruber, and Blake Lively all in one movie? Sign me up! The Age of Adaline tells the story of Adaline Bowman, who after a freak accident stops aging and then experiences the whole of the 20th century.

Continue reading “Don’t trust him, Adaline!”

An exploration of science, evolution and belief in God

god is here to stay“God Is Here to Stay: Science, Evolution, and Belief in God” is a 2014 publication written by Thomas R. McFaul and Al Brunsting. The chapters consist of scientific findings that support the idea that humanity is structured for knowledge, spiritual experiences, justice, and universal morality. These findings, the authors argue, support belief in a God rather than non-belief.

In the opening chapter the authors glance over general versions of the cosmological, teleological, ontological, and moral arguments for the existence of God. Each argument is summarized in a couple of paragraphs, then they are dismissed. It is concluded that the lack of consensus Continue reading “An exploration of science, evolution and belief in God”

Book Review: Comrade Chikatilo

comrade chikatiloWith the 1993 publication of Comrade Chikatilo: The Psychopathology of Russia’s Notorious Serial Killer, authors Ol’gert Ol’Gin and Mikhail Krivitch clearly divulge the life of prolific killer Andrei Chikatilo, the grisly fate of his victims, Russia’s exhausting and seemingly futile manhunt, and the tumultuous trial that led to the Red Ripper’s death sentence.

With an upbringing in a famine impoverished, World War II entrenched Ukraine, young Chikatilo lived under both the very real threat of German artillery and the possible threat of being cannibalized by fellow starving citizens, which was purportedly to be the fate of his older brother. Later in life, from adolescence into adulthood, he suffered from impotence that led to self-contempt and attempts at suicide.

Continue reading “Book Review: Comrade Chikatilo”

Book Review: The Cleanest Race

The Cleanest Race (cover)Since North Korea’s inception in the late 1940s, the rogue state’s history has been inseparable from mystery and misconceptions. Known as the Hermit Kingdom due to its sequestered nature, it remains an incredibly bizarre, anachronistic nation that seeks unification—by force, if necessary—of the two Koreas. Its continued secrecy has guaranteed a lack of access to information concerning the worldview of many North Koreans. Thankfully, B.R. Myers’ The Cleanest Race: How North Koreans See Themselves and Why It Matters serves as a thorough guide that spans the pre-WWII Japanese colonization of Korea to the closing chapters of Kim Jong-il’s reign. Continue reading “Book Review: The Cleanest Race”

Book Review: Going Clear by Lawrence Wright

Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief is a 2013 publication by Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Lawrence Wright. Covering an extensive amount of material, Mr. Wright explores Scientology’s origins, tenets, attacks on critics, the treatment of newly enlisted members to high profile veterans such as Tom Cruise, and the life of its founder, L. Ron Hubbard.

Scientology’s status as a relatively new and secretive religion has opened it to a large amount of speculation and criticism. Unlike other religions that openly declare tenets, the Church of Scientology makes its sporadic tenets public in a begrudging manner, occasionally due to various internal breaches of Church documents. However, where the majority of the public’s knowledge of Scientology ends, Mr. Wright fully explores its remaining dogma, including Scientology’s origin and its unorthodox role in religion.

The dogma Continue reading “Book Review: Going Clear by Lawrence Wright”